


Santa Baby

by Flantastic



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gen, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13115673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flantastic/pseuds/Flantastic
Summary: James is pleased to discover that he’ll be buying a gift for Eve Moneypenny in the Operations Department’s Secret Santa exchange...  except he’s useless at thinking of gift ideas and no-one seems willing to help him.





	Santa Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Mi6-cafe's Secret Santa fic exchange...

 

 

 

James wasn’t really sure what compelled him to take part in the Operations Department’s Secret Santa in the first place.  Maybe it actually was the spirit of the season or maybe it was the way that Q’s eyes had lit up whenever he talked about the Q-Branch exchange the year before.  

James had been with Q ‘officially’ for three months, but they’d been sleeping together for eight more before that.  It was their first anniversary soon and James had already arranged with M to whisk his young boyfriend away to a secluded cabin halfway up a mountain at the ski resort at Morzine.   Ten days of seclusion, roaring fires, good food, wine, and hopefully a great deal of lovemaking.  M hadn’t minded.  M was all for it actually (the holiday that was, not his agent and quartermaster shagging like bunnies specifically). Q was terrible at remembering to take time off.  A little organised kidnapping by the man he loved would do him the world of good.

The Secret Santa though…  Q had gone on about the previous year’s exchange so enthusiastically, reminiscing about the gifts given and received, that when Tanner told James that Operations were holding one of their own and jokingly asked if he wanted in he’d agreed.  Tanner had been surprised but had been decent enough to try and hide it (apparently, he’d asked all of the other double-ohs, most of whom had politely refused).  A few days later he’d cornered James again and waved what looked like a goldfish bowl filled with pieces of paper under his nose.

“What’s this?”

“Names for the Secret Santa mate.  Pick one out, keep it secret and buy that person a gift.  Ten quid limit, and you should give it to them on the twentieth.”

James had reached into the bowl and drawn out a piece of folded paper.

“Only ten pounds?”  He’d queried, slipping the paper into his pocket.

“Makes it more of a challenge.  Makes it fun.”

James had blinked at that.  How limiting the gift to such a paltry low value made it fun, he wasn’t quite sure but he’d thanked Bill and gone on his way.

Later, at home and changing for dinner, his darling boffin singing in his adorably off-key way in the bathtub, he’d remembered the little piece of paper and taken it out to read it.  It had made him smile.

The name written on it?   _Eve Moneypenny._

~

After his initial pleasure at realising he was to be Santa for one of his closest friends James started to worry.  Eve was a sophisticated lady and not the type of person that James would usually consider giving such a low-value present to.  He wouldn’t have blinked at spending a couple of hundred pounds on a beautiful piece of jewellery for her or on some stunningly sumptuous underwear… of course the latter would be more like a gift for Tanner, the lucky dog.  She and him had been a couple for over three years and were as disgustingly happy as any pair James knew.  But buying her something… economical (he refused to even think the word ‘cheap’ in relation to her) … well, it just didn’t seem right… Every time he started to think about what to get her he was reminded of that wonderful old Christmas song by Eartha Kitt;

_“Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me…”_

She was a lady who deserved expense and sophistication and luxurious gifts… not a cheap set of smellies from Boots.  There was only one thing for it.

“I am _not_ buying your sodding Secret Santa gift for you!”  Q chuckled, nudging James playfully.

“But... but _darling_ …” James whined, breathing a trail of gentle kisses across the back of Q’s shoulder.  They were in bed, both as naked as the day they were born and James had just spent a large part of the previous hour attempting to shag Q into their king-sized mattress in an effort to seduce him into helping him choose Eve a gift.

“Don’t you ‘darling’ me!”  Q retorted.  James’s kisses had reached the bottom of his spine but he could still hear the smile in his voice.  “You shouldn’t have even told me who you were buying for!  It’s called secret for reason.  You’re a terrible cheater…”

James bit his bum cheek lightly.

“Oi.  Watch who you call a cheater… it’s not as if we’re taking part in the same exchange.”  Most of the departments at MI6 had their own exchange of sorts.  The organisation was far too big for them to do just one. “I thought you wanted me to take a more active role in the office social occasions… you should be helping me…”

Q giggled as he wriggled and turned over.  James immediately dropped his head to place a wet open-mouthed kiss onto Q’s hip bone.  He followed it by lightly grazing his teeth playfully over the same spot, making him shudder.

“Give me one good reason why I should.”

James gave him a filthy grin and then made as if to lick Q’s cock, missing him by millimetres and breathing over its head instead.

“I’ll never give you a blowjob again...”

Q very deliberately grabbed a hold of James’s ears, keeping him in position.

“No dice, I’m afraid.  You see, I happen to know how much you adore sucking my cock.  Sometimes I’d say you love giving blowjobs even more than I like receiving them and I like receiving them an awful lot.  So I’m quite certain that you won’t make good on that threat and that I can have a fabulous blowjob whenever I please without helping you.”

“Oh really?  You think so?”

“Mmm.  All I have to do is this;” Q smiled seductively, tugging on James’s ears.  He bucked his hips, his hardening cock nudging the underside of James’s chin.  He narrowed his eyes and let his mouth go slack, his tongue darting out to lick his lower lip.  “Please sweetheart," he whined, "please suck me…”

 _Fuck it, he’s got a point,_ thought James as he immediately went down on him.

~

Giving up Q as a lost cause, James wondered who else he could go to for help.  M was no good, he and Eve were as thick as thieves.  Any mention to him of the exchange and he would be sure to tell Eve and although James had no compunction in asking other people for help, he wanted to keep the surprise anonymous for her at least.

Next on his list was Tanner.  Bill wouldn’t rat on him he was sure but he had to be careful.  If he realised what James was up to, he simply wouldn’t help him.  James shrugged.  He was one of Her Majesty’s finest spies.  Surely, he was capable of surreptitiously extracting the information that he required from Bill without tipping him off as to what he was up to?

He put his plan into action in the dining hall.  Luckily, he’d shared enough lunches with Bill for it not to seem suspicious when he slid into the chair opposite him, an unappetising prawn salad sandwich on his plate.  Bill glanced up from the paperwork he was reading while scoffing a half-decent looking lasagne and chips.

“Bond.”

“Tanner.  How goes it?”

Bill shrugged and turned over the top sheet of paper, shielding it from prying eyes.

“Not too bad.  Only eighteen agents in the field at the moment and only two of those are double-ohs.  One might go so far as to say that it was quiet if that wasn’t so much tempting fate as running up behind fate and giving it the mother of all wedgies.  I’d rather spend Christmas at home this year than get stuck in here, thank you very much.”

James chuckled.  He couldn’t believe his luck at Tanner bringing up the subject of Christmas himself.

“So what are the plans this year?” He asked nonchalantly, “Quiet one with your lovely lady?”

“No such luck.  I’ve got the in-laws coming.”

“In-laws?”

“Her mum and step-dad and her little brother.  Alright, not in-laws officially yet and we’ll no doubt have the usual not-so-veiled questions about when _I’m_ going to pop the question … Lovely people though.  Just as you might expect with a girl as wonderful as Eve.”

“So no diamond ring for Christmas?”

Tanner grinned.

“Not just this year, no.  We’ll just have to keep them mollified some other way.”

James hesitated for a second as Tanner took another bite of his lunch.

“So… what have you got her?”

Tanner looked as if he was going to answer but then he narrowed his eyes.

“Nice try Bond.”

James tried to act innocent.

“Nice try… what do you mean?”

Tanner chuckled.

“Do I need to show you the text message that I got from Q this morning?  I’ll confess it had me a little confused.  Makes a lot more sense now though.”  He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and extracted his phone.  He unlocked it, brought up the message and showed it to James.  It read;

_-Don’t trust Bond.  He’s being a sneaky little shit about your department’s Secret Santa.  Tell him nothing.-_

“I’m guessing you drew Eve’s name out of the pot.”  He actually laughed at James. “Good luck with that one!”

“Bill, you’ve got to help me!!”

“Not doing it mate.”  Bill replied, taking his last bite of lasagne.  “I’ve got my hands full with the end of year reports, getting the house ready for our visitors and trying work out what the hell _I’m_ going to buy Trevelyan as it is…”

With that he stood up, collecting his plate and paperwork and leaving James alone with his sandwich.

~

There were no other opportunities for James to ask anyone at MI6 before he was unexpectedly called away on a mission.  He would ordinarily have relished the chance to swap the cold and gloomy grey of London in December for the comparatively balmy warmth of Singapore but not this year.  Now he found he missed it.  More specifically he missed Q.  He missed his untidy little flat with its neurotic cats and it’s twinkling Christmas tree which Q had insisted on putting up on the first of the month and Q’s flannel pyjamas which made him oh-so-cosy and which were oh-so-fun to peel off him…  He wanted to get back to him desperately but even he had to admit that getting shot and run over by the man he’d been sent to kill probably hadn’t been the way to do it.

He’d failed to complete his mission for the first time in years and he came back to London with his metaphorical tail between his legs, irked that Trevelyan had been sent out to finish the job.  James had met up with Q in Medical and his lover had been in tears for the first time since he’d known him.  He’d tried to tell him that a broken leg was no big deal and that the bullet had barely grazed his throat but Q was having none of it.  He’d kissed James fiercely and told him to shut the fuck up.  James had done as he was told and accepted Q’s worried mothering, wondering when it had last been that someone had cared about him so desperately and so completely.

Standard protocol dictated that he spent twenty-four hours in Medical before being released and signed off active duty for a minimum of six weeks.  He grumbled when Doctor Conroy threatened to castrate him if he tried to escape as he had on every previous occasion he’d been sent to Medical but decided to stay.  Besides, anything that Susan could do to him paled into insignificance compared to what Q would do if he found out that James had avoided Medical’s care, even for a moment.  Q couldn’t stay in the evening as his department were actively supporting Trevelyan in the field so Susan had kept James company, bringing her crochet with her to sit by his bed.  He found her gentle conversation and her hook flashing as she worked oddly soothing.  As he relaxed he found himself talking about all manner of things that he might never have told her ordinarily.  His love of Q, his hopes for a future with him, how his lover’s love for him in return had changed James for the better.

“I feel happy.” He smiled as he drowsed, high on painkillers, watching the bonnet Susan was making for her granddaughter’s first Christmas gradually take shape.  “I can sleep better at night when he’s there… I don’t drink so much… I have fun… I even took part in a Secret Santa… although that may have been a mistake…”

Susan looked up at him from her work.

“How so?”

“Haven’t got a clue what to get her… I can only spend a tenner… what can you get for a tenner these days?”

“You’d be surprised if you’re just a little creative.  The wool for this only cost me a few pounds… Have you tried speaking to her?  You might be inspired.”

James nodded.

“You might be right.  I should… I should speak to her…”

He drifted off to sleep and the next thing he knew it was six-thirty in the morning and Susan was moving around his bed carrying out her checks on him.  He was up on crutches by nine and half an hour after that he was being debriefed by M.

Considering he’d made such a colossal bog-up of his mission, M was remarkable relaxed about the whole thing.  Trevelyan had successfully eliminated the target overnight and in fact, James’s earlier efforts had resulted in the man running to a cell that they’d previously known nothing about so that had been taken out at the same time. On his way out of the office James remembered Susan’s advice and he paused to talk to Eve.

She was looking stunning but then in James’s humble opinion, she always looked stunning.  She really was the most beautiful woman he knew.  She was wearing her red blouse which clung to every curve and made her look wonderfully festive against the backdrop of her little office’s Christmas tree.  She offered him a coffee and he accepted, settling himself stiffly into the chesterfield settee that was there for visitors before clumsily lifting his casted leg up onto the coffee table.  He made sure during the manoeuvre to keep half an eye on Eve, watching as she crossed the room, smoothing her ridden up skirt down over her delicately curving hips as she walked.  He thought again what a lucky boy Tanner was.  When Eve came back with their coffee she sat down on the settee with James.

She commiserated over his injuries with him and then they started to chat about small things.  The conversation inevitably turned to Christmas.

“Mum, Dave and my brother George are coming to stay.  Bill’s a bit nervous about having them.  Mum can be a bit critical of him – she was about all of my previous boyfriends too - but it’ll be OK I think.  We’ve got them all quite the gift this year.”

“Oh?”  James asked.

She shrugged and laughed, dismissing James’s querying noise.

“But what about you, Mr Loved-up?  First Christmas with our very own boffin.  I do hope you’ll be looking after him.”

James smiled and tapped his cast.

“I think he might be the one doing the looking after I’m afraid…”

She looked affectionate.

“I think you two look after each other more than you realise.”

They chatted a while longer and then James excused himself.  Instead of going to the building’s main reception to book a taxi like he’d originally planned he went back to Medical, taking the time that the lift took to descend to use his phone to hunt for something online.  By the time the doors opened he had what he wanted.  Susan was at reception and looked surprised to see him.

“Bond.  Back so soon.  Everything OK?”

He nodded and held out his phone, angling it so that she could see the screen.

“I am.  I wondered if you might be able to do something for me?”

~

The day before the Secret Santa exchange in Operations James wrapped up the little gift that he’d got for Eve.  He’d put it in a beautiful red box, nestled  in golden tissue paper, and tied on a label with a length of green silk ribbon.  He wrote; _For Eve, to be opened in private… with love from Father Christmas x._ He smiled as he wrote, knowing that Eve would recognise his handwriting.  Hopefully she would assume that the box contained something rude and do as she was told.  He gave the gift to Q to take in for him.  His lover raised an eyebrow at the lightness of the box but didn’t question James.  Good.  James wanted it to be a surprise.

~

On the twenty-second James had an appointment at Medical to have his heavy temporary cast replaced with something more permanent.  As he was sitting on an examination bed, his first cast removed and waiting for Doctor Kressler to return from checking the latest round of x-rays Eve came in.  She shut the door firmly behind herself.

“You utter bastard!”  She exclaimed hotly.  “It was you, wasn’t it?  I’d recognise your handwriting anywhere! Who told you?  Was it Bill?  I told him not to tell anyone!”

James chuckled.

“You told me darling.”

She hesitated, looking confused.

“I did?  When?”

“You think you’re not really showing yet but your clothes are getting a little bit tight.  I saw the way your skirt didn’t sit as well as it should.  The way you had flat shoes on.  And did you really think that I wouldn’t recognise the smell of M’s decaffeinated coffee?”

She sagged, a smile on her face, one hand unconsciously moving to her stomach.

“I really can’t keep any secrets from you, can I?”

James smiled and shook his head.

“I’m afraid not, no.  Did you like them?  I asked Susan to make them for you.”

She sat down carefully on the side of his bed and leaned in to kiss his cheek.  He took her hand.

“They’re beautiful.  They’ll come in very handy next Christmas.”

“I’m thrilled for you, you know.  For both of you.”

She grinned.

“I worked with Bill for so long before we fell in love.  When I first knew him I never would have believed…”

“That he’d be the father of your child?”

“... and now I can’t imagine anything better.”

“I feel the same way about Q.” James said softly.

“Oh Christ!  You’re not pregnant too, are you?!” Eve exclaimed in mock-horror.

James chuckled.

“No… but I can’t imagine anything better than being with him…”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he realised that it was true.  He really couldn’t.  The trip to the skiing lodge had been cancelled on account of his broken leg, his deposit refunded.  Perhaps he should spend the money on Q in a different way.  A more meaningful way.  He wondered what sort of engagement ring Q would like.

Perhaps Eve could help James to pick one out for him…

 

  


Eve's gift...

 


End file.
